parents irrirate me

 I kinda just got into a back and forth agruement with my mom. She thinks it's disrespectful, but I see it as a way to express how I feel about things I keep away from her. My parents and I don't have the best relationship when it comes to communicating. 

Sometimes I'm not sure if they know me that well. I bet they know some things about me, but it's nothing really personal. But when they do know something personal about me. It's like a shocker because I wouldn't even think that they would know that about me. 

Sorry i just typing at this point. Also, my parents never stand down. They have too much pride for that. I do that sometimes too, but I'm trying to make that not a habit. They never see anything wrong on their side of any situation. And if they do, they don't say "sorry" or "that's my fault". NOTHING. 

I'm just trying to become a calmer, nicer person. But it's hard when people like that are there to challenge you. To challenge you to be the person who you want to be. 

I know life isn't easy, so what should I expect? Not much. I just need to keep going. I won't be living with them forever. And you shouldn't give up your dreams or your goals just because of something that won't matter in 5 years. 

You know, I almost stopped everything I needed to do just because of that argument. I needed to drop off my clothes to Savers, but I was so mad that I was like, "NOPE, I'm just going home and doing
nothing."

Then I thought about it; I'm using my car tomorrow to go to the OC fair, and I'm bringing my friends. My car needs to have space for them. 

So I went to Savers and did what I needed to do. I won't let my mom's stressful life affect my peaceful and whimsical life. That shit is like poison coming into the beautiful garden that you have been working on forever. 

I think we should picture things like that more often. Like, if you know it's so easy to ruin something you've been trying to solve or work on. Why ruin the progress you put out? 

I can't wait to live on my own and not have to deal with such people who don't know how to handle their own emotions because they didn't have time to think about their future because they had kids at an earlier age. I know my mom and dad didn't think it through. I bet they did want kids, but I know it wasn't something they planned on having next in their lives. 

My life will be pure, whimsical, and sweet. Calm life always.